somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
