did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
