God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
