so explain again why im purple
no
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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