I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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