I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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