i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
