he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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