she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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