i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize