My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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