I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
