Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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