she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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