She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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