Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize