We're like a lot better than the average bears
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
