Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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