if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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