last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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