You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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