You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sponge bath it is.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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