They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize