On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
