It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
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Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
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I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.