the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
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I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
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I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.