Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times

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  (516): i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times http://tfl.nu/hu9z
  Replies (30) Good night (665) Bad night (3074)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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  (651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp
  Replies (16) Good night (4360) Bad night (751)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.

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  (732): Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest. http://tfl.nu/jp7b
  Replies (36) Good night (6466) Bad night (2558)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.

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  (704): Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some. http://tfl.nu/ntfp
  Replies (12) Good night (1359) Bad night (5415)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.

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  (207): Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/f26o
  Replies (43) Good night (12062) Bad night (1482)
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  (661): View more from California

  I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it

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  (661): I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it http://tfl.nu/bivl
  Replies (15) Good night (1344) Bad night (6846)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.

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  (713): Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome. http://tfl.nu/qq5z
  Replies (8) Good night (4463) Bad night (1955)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.

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  (317): You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour. http://tfl.nu/7a2s
  Replies (4) Good night (3136) Bad night (754)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica

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  (540): I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica http://tfl.nu/lleg
  Replies (2) Good night (2010) Bad night (578)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.

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  (314): Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge. http://tfl.nu/n4av
  Replies (7) Good night (1316) Bad night (611)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.

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  (775): I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen. http://tfl.nu/oi7l
  Replies (1) Good night (1042) Bad night (500)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility

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  (207): If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you (1-207): Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility http://tfl.nu/lgaa
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (362)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.

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  (414): wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me. http://tfl.nu/3pdz
  Replies (0) Good night (850) Bad night (343)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.

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  (301): You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins. http://tfl.nu/7khe
  Replies (4) Good night (200) Bad night (651)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I have bits of ceiling fan all over now

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  (813): I have bits of ceiling fan all over now http://tfl.nu/xnd8
  Replies (1) Good night (154) Bad night (210)

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