Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.

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  (347): Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service. http://tfl.nu/eqpl
  Replies (117) Good night (4555) Bad night (1589)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly

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  (813): So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly http://tfl.nu/tnq1
  Replies (15) Good night (4148) Bad night (645)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?

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  (570): is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs? http://tfl.nu/dpsw
  Replies (21) Good night (4342) Bad night (858)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.

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  (203): It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton. http://tfl.nu/85qb
  Replies (30) Good night (1025) Bad night (3711)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao

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  (830): just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao http://tfl.nu/019w
  Replies (17) Good night (4055) Bad night (1163)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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  (505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u
  Replies (380) Good night (2210) Bad night (54343)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.

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  (715): We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay. http://tfl.nu/aupb
  Replies (16) Good night (4918) Bad night (1331)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.

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  (708): Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think. http://tfl.nu/wg4r
  Replies (20) Good night (4096) Bad night (1272)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...

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  (217): she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening... http://tfl.nu/ap34
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (3221)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected

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  (443): I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected http://tfl.nu/8335
  Replies (3) Good night (1530) Bad night (799)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.

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  (407): Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost. http://tfl.nu/odd1
  Replies (8) Good night (1766) Bad night (715)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  (509): idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow. http://tfl.nu/e8dm
  Replies (7) Good night (2425) Bad night (758)
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  (209): View more from California

  We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

  (1-209): View more from California

  Duh.

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  (209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up. (1-209): Duh. http://tfl.nu/z6sv
  Replies (5) Good night (2099) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.

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  (615): You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it. http://tfl.nu/hvow
  Replies (4) Good night (1742) Bad night (620)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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  (914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (675)

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