Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better