Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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