I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
