he wants to bone in the snuggie
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
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he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
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Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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