I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize