I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
