i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
