Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
