Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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