i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
