My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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