Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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