Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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