11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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