I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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