Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need to align my fucking chakras
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
the raccoons are back...
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