what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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