I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize