i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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