best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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