I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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