True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
