I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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