Her vagina should come with caution tape.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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