That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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