i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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