I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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