I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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