I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
