i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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