i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
